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Tourette's Syndrome as Future Metalhead


It started like a dare, a friend

saying, in order to be heavy,

you have to listen

to heavier things.


I thought heavy must be a measure

of intensity, which I thought meant

it had something

to do with pain,


which had something to do

with the capacity to resist it.

Heavy cannot be

moved too easily


but I knew I moved all the time,

or my body moved all the time.

We still find this

to be a strange idea.


My body and I are never still.

My body and I somehow are

both excessive

and deficient,


in that we have too much to control

and lack the control to have ourselves

as a body

should be


had. My friend said he’d start the song. I pressed

into my seat, wondering if this would be music

if music is intended

to be understood


and, if not, could it still be appreciated? I tried making sense

of the screaming but there were only a few stray sounds

resembling anything

like language against


all the noise, but this is called music, and I hear it somewhere, unless

the opposite of noise was never music but the word it’s been given,

that I have

given to it.


My friend forgot to hit pause but I didn’t say anything, just pressed down

into my seat with all of my weight until I had none left to give. I wanted to

prove I could be

my own ballast,


that I could hold my breath and nothing could force it out despite me being

such an antic balloon, always bursting in some lightning I can’t help but keep

generating. And what

could be more metal


than an outburst, an explosion, the permission to explode as everything that explodes

around me, that will explode around me, my body, we are exploding, so I knew I had

to keep listening

to all that light.


 

Tourette's Syndrome as BOP IT EXTREME


BOP IT EXTREME may be held by either handle. Use your free hand to respond to commands.


Should you have no free hands, try another available body part, perhaps your elbow, foot, or nose.


Should your elbow, foot, nose and other body parts all be unavailable, it may not be the best time to BOP IT EXTREME.